We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
