It's like God shit irony all over that family
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
