he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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