Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
