you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
That was before I lit my hair on fire
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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