I swear she didn't look like that last week.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
