I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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