so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
This house was built for laser tag.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Randomize