I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
