I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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