My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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