So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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