I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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