My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
