It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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