Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Come share oat with me in your robe
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
