yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
