I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
