put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
