I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Randomize
