'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
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