I wanna passion pit in your ass
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
