Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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