he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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