I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
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