was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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