WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
