on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
