If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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