they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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