I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize