i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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