And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
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I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
So much Jack, so little girl.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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