I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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