just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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