Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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