And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
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So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
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I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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