Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
