ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize