Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
