did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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