my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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