I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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