i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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