no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
