well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize