sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
