eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
