im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
