What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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