Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
