I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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