I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just blew my weed a kiss
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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