problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
