Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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