I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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