it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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