The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
