i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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