my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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