Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
