I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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