Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
then he tried to convert me to islam
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
