Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
