so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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