Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
