I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Michael Bay diarrhea
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize