My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
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