What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
