he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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